To Kill A Narcissist - Bloodsucker or Soulsucker?
I see you… You think you’ve got me
on a hook, and that I’m gratefully lapping up your praise and swooning under
your nobility. You assume I can’t see the shining pedestal you have me
on has a ticking clock counting off its slippery minutes. You reckon
I don’t see the dark intent in your smile and your gifts, that I’m infatuated with
the illusion you weave, and I am sinking, intoxicated into your perfect
reality.
But it’s different this time; I
smelt your stench a mile off. I saw your long shadow and tasted your lies
with the relish of a hunter who’s been stalking your breed for years. I
know your reality is a film set, a matrix of daydreams, the inviting silk
spread over the treacherous mire.
Last time I was frozen in your
narcotic gaze; hypnotized I prostrated myself at your feet and allowed you to
have your way. I defended you, and worshiped you, respected and
loved you…until you betrayed me beyond all doubt, turning me to stone.
This time I watch you; spinning your
web and drawing them in – the needy, the lonely, the poor souls with no
self-esteem. The promises you make to turn their houses to gold,
their swamps into fertile pastures, and their lonely lives to everlasting
parties. They lay before you and do your bidding; they are your warriors,
messengers and rent boys. I wonder if I should tell them? But no,
their eyes are glazed and they would fight for you as dogs who fight to the
death for a cruel master. How many turns with your sort will it take for them
to learn?
I see you flexing your muscles and
pulling at what you think is my tether; you’re too smart to use your whip, but
the respect in your voice is laced with an intangible something and your eyes
betray a question; “Can I control this one?” “Is she really all
mine?” “Am I safe?”
When will your campaign to
discredit me begin?
“Loyalty is the cornerstone of being
with me,” you say, as I side-step your invites into the pews of your house of
worship. Those alluded-to rewards in exchange for something you would
never say, were subtly deflected. The light flashing on your amiable face
from my mirror of protection for a split second reveals a sabre-toothed
monster, smiling daringly…threateningly. How long before you smash the
mirror with your trident? How quickly you’ll do it! Then reverting
to gentleness, persuading me it was for my good…I’ll be safe now…if I’ll just
stop resisting and follow you into the depths of your lair. I could be
your Queen! I could rule at your side! Think of the life! Wonder at
the riches!
But what happens if I refuse once
more? If I shun the harness, and don’t buckle the collar round my own
neck, willingly, and with reverence? The floor underneath me will surely
open up, to the howling plethora of ravenous creatures of your world, starved
and twisted by your words, unquestioningly tearing the skin from my bones and
the limbs from my body. You would smile down at me and assure me it was
all my own doing. All I had to do was love you...
But no. Not this time.
Maybe this time I’ll warn everyone
about you. I won’t shout it from the rooftops; instead I’ll whisper it to
them, and spread it carefully, stealthily and quietly…because I have learnt
from you. You see; my clock is ticking too. I’ll see to it you’re
exposed; one by one I’ll charm them, tell them, and show them what you
do. I’ll put you in the blinding spotlight of truth and revenge.
I’ll eviscerate you in fiction.
And then…my old friend… you’ll
stumble about flailing in their bright light of realization,
you’ll lash out and wail, taking
down who you will, you’ll shriek at the injustice…and I know you’ll believe
every word of what you protest, but all that will be left to do will be to
leave for another land, somewhere far away where they don’t know you, and you
can start it all again. A poor wronged genius who was unjustly cast out –
a fallen king.
Let’s hope in the new land they are wise to folklore and
legend, and have seen your sort before. Maybe they’ll uncover your drama
and fiction sooner than we.
But be warned - Come back here
again, and I’ll drive a stake through your black heart, and
incinerate your shell, for I know it’s the only true way to kill you
forever…
For this month's blog, I had a
bit of fun. I’ve been reading about vampires and demonic creatures of myth, and a recent run in with a perfectly textbook narcissist
inspired me to tie the two together.
Bloodsucker or Soulsucker?
They’re one and the same to me ;-)
Be wise to those who seek to
manipulate you.
Namaste.
CJ
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