Meetings - Time To Dump The Ego Battles
“Excuse me! I wasn’t done
speaking,” came the plaintive voice across the meeting table, accompanied by
the accusatory glower from offended eyes.
Admittedly I did
interject, and not for the first time that day, but in my defense the woman had
been talking for five minutes straight, trampling over any efforts of her
colleagues to help her, and was off-topic and misguided in her
understanding. It was time to get the meeting back on track, or it would
be off the rails; unproductive and timed-out.
Function as part of the collective
- As with many
other facets of life, in business meetings many people have learnt to assert
their rights but at the same time have not accepted their
responsibilities. Generally speaking,
one’s responsibility in a meeting is to remember at all times each person is
there to serve the whole. We are all there to talk about actions and
deliverables – it’s not a personal proving ground. Focus on the things, not the ‘I’.
It’s not all about you, so leave your
ego at the door! - I have wasted so many hours of life sitting in a meeting room as people
use it as a forum to beat their chests and listen to their own voice, shutting
others down, or (at the other end of the ego scale) to whinge about their
issues.
Be empowered - One of the reasons a company employs you is to add value, and you can achieve this in part by being open-minded, informed and prepared with ideas. If you are stumped on an issue, the team can help brainstorm a new way, but don't monopolize time crying like a victim and acting defensive. In this state you bring nothing.
If you need more information for the meeting, ask the organizer or another relevant person, and don’t show up bleating plaintively about how you knew nothing until you got to the table.
In the event you do arrive unprepared, that state is not a topic for the meeting – it may be made as a statement of measure against what you are saying, but cannot be a blame item thrown out at the group.
Pass the talking stick! - Any interactive session, be
it a business meeting or a group conversation requires all present to be
sensitive to visual and energetic cues of the others, allowing the conversation
to flow naturally to the person who has something to contribute at the right
time. If someone has something to add to
what you are saying, it doesn’t mean you will never get to speak again, it
means you have inspired them to bounce thought back which provokes more
conversation and ideas – and ultimately a more creative environment and better
solutions.
In a functioning meeting where all are respectful and time is managed,
if everyone is giving full focused attention to the person speaking, the
speaker has the best opportunity to deliver their message with clarity, and the
listeners will understand and also be inspired with ideas to contribute. The natural flow will be that as ideas surface,
conversation rolls spontaneously as all reflect on what is said. Everyone
contributes, as all members of the group are giving attention (or energy) to
each other and are not trying to dominate individually out of a need for
attention. In this environment, each group member will sense whether they are
the one that is supposed to talk next, feeling their energy rise as an idea
comes to mind. This technique helps
everyone in the group participate, with no one member becoming addicted to
monopolizing the spotlight.
The ticking clock – Every bum-on-board-room-seat
costs money every moment they are there, and if time is not utilized
efficiently, you’ll start losing people to their phones and laptops. Meetings (done right) are a forum for efficiently
sharing information and ideas, and also identify solutions, actions and responsibilities,
and then set everyone off on their assigned tasks. People generally have
a short attention span, so stay on topic and on schedule.
In
business, grappling with egotists (of all descriptions) is part of the accepted
territory, but as more and more of us manage our egos, cease to take things
personally, and focus on the task at hand, the boardroom will become a far more
fun and creative place to be. Life at
work will be increasingly stimulating as all feel they can contribute, and
those who allow their egos to run riot like petulant children will expose
themselves.
So
let’s focus on the solutions and dump the ego battles.
CJ Butler – Grizzled project manager, campaigning from a
background of novel-inspiring bad behaviours ;-)
Debut novel
out now – The Japson Club by CJ Butler,
available on Amazon, Indigo, Chapters, Barnes & Noble, Waterstones,
Smashwords…and all the other online retailers...
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